Wednesday 20 April 2011

Myself

Wearing orange phaneks and pink shirts, we all looked colourful and were feeling awfully hot that afternoon. We saw the girls of Ibotonsana school among the midst of the hazy smoked air while coming back  through the glasses of the van. They looked exactly like dried pink flowers with dull green stalks lying on the dirty ground in that heavy traffic. I looked inside and thought to myself how beautiful we looked, everyone looked quite colourful and clean. Then I felt suffocating cuz there seemed to be less air inside. I felt all tied up and I couldn’t move a muscle. Just in front of my eyes I could see the quick rapid movements when the van was moving pretty fast, twisting and turning through the narrow lanes and blocks for every few minutes. Inside her eyes, I could view a world full of contempt and hatred. Her eyebrows were crescent in shape but currently, it was so much out of the shape that she looked like a witch with one eyebrow going up higher than the other.
         I couldn’t help stop laughing myself. I laughed out so loud and heartily that everyone stopped talking, turned around and were staring at me. I felt too embarrassed that I stopped instantly. You can’t imagine what it felt like when 13 pairs of eyes were looking at you at the same time for the same purpose. Did I do something wrong? Can’t I even laugh when I want to and where I want to.  I found it rather funny to be always scornful and uptight for no plausible reason at all. She was actually looking outside without a thought of hating or loving someone. But, she was so used to it that she looked as if she just had a fight or something like that. So, I laughed. They stared at me as if they were about to gobble me up. Then they started laughing themselves showing their sharp teeth. Their long nails were about to pierce my skin and take them off leaving litres of blood pouring out of my body. I could see the bright shining brownish hair of mine reflected in the windowpane. The reflection was burning my skin. I felt like melting away and flying up amongst the vapour of the water of nambul river. Then suddenly I didn’t like that feeling. I felt too dirty and murky to think about melting away with the water of nambul. Everything was wrong.
   Every time he dropped a girl, a sense of relief and joy came to my mind. It got more and more spacious inside that I could inhale and exhale freely, deeply and properly. I felt like pushing them down one by one if I ever had a chance to do that as quickly as possible before they reach their home. They must have had the same feeling. They can’t even move an inch. But still they acted as if they were enjoying the whole drama just to make me feel left out and annoyed. But they don’t know that I like it that way. Why do I need them for?
    The driver asked where I was to drop. I saw them chatting and laughing. They didn’t even care to look at my side. I was talking to my friend. She was telling me why she hates that girl in science stream, the one we saw the day before yesterday and why I should hate her. I was just staring at the river which flows at the same pace as the van at the same direction through the rocks and creeks bending and turning. 

No comments:

Post a Comment